Saturday, March 20, 2010

Words from a Watchman

Like I've said before, I think Those In Charge are really looking for more physical and less metaphysical, but sometimes I have to indulge myself. I hope you, the readers, will indulge me, too.

Sometimes when I consider exactly where I am in my life (and where I could be, had it gone differently), I'm blown away with thankfulness. Yesterday I spent a lovely afternoon with Bryan and Robin Amick, an older married couple who are friends of mine. I sat in their sunlit living room, and talked about things which matter greatly and things which matter not at all. Blessing. They fed me cookies and took me shoe shopping (I don't have a car and so transportation is an issue). Blessing. We watched a movie and today they've let me take over their house again, and they're not even here. Blessing. Their mentorship. Blessing. Their house for a quiet day of writing and reflection. Blessing. Their example of how to grow up to be a good Christian couple. Blessing.

I was talking to an older student yesterday about silence and how much it's needed in order to have an intimate relationship with God. I complain a lot about the noise level in the dorms (it's sometimes hard to sleep) but this morning I was convicted about how much noise I make. Pointless chatter with my mother and my friends. Gossip and complaints (about the noise?). I do anything and everything to keep from being quiet--even when it would benefit my soul. I love solitude.... but not silence? I don't want to be afraid of hearing myself or of hearing God.

I've been thinking about the concept of abiding, actually. Warning, I'm about to get WAY nerdy on you, but I figure you won't care? Or if you do, you'll ignore it?

2. to accept or submit to; suffer
3. to remain faithful (to)
4. to remain or continue
5. to dwell
7. to withstand or sustain; endure

I especially like 5 and 7. To dwell in God. To withstand or sustain; to endure. I feel like I'm a little young to feel like my faith is weathering the storm, but it's less a violent flood and more a dry spell where I'm having to seek God out.

It's that sort of constancy--regularity, really--I'm missing in my walk with God, and I honestly don't know how to get it. I'm too easily discouraged and I forget that I am abiding: "accepting, submitting, and remaining." Any ideas? Besides forcing prayer and meditation, which is happening today, in my silence and solitude.

I borrowed a book from my life of Christ teacher, Dr. Blackburn, called 2000 Years Of Prayer, which is pretty self-explanatory, as far as topic goes. I think I'll leave you with this, my prayer for today:

"As watchmen wait for the morning, so do our souls long for you, O Christ. Come with the dawning of day, and make yourself known to us in the breaking of bread; for you are our God for ever and ever. Amen."



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