come into this broken dream - please?

Last night (this morning?) I couldn't sleep. I figured I might as well blog but couldn't pull this off on my cell phone... so I typed it as email, emailed it to myself and below is what came of it. Forgive me if it is unclear... it was getting close to 1am by the end of my paragraphs.

Listening to: Breathe by B.Reith

problem: can't sleep
solution: won't silence

Despite the dorkiness (word?) of how this may sound, I am usually sleep by 10:30 pm and am quite proud of that. However I've been doing a bit o'homework and writing for work and have whacked my sleep schedule off. So it is past midnight, and I am unfortunately wide awake.

On a positive note, I'm listening to a song off of a CD I bought this past Sunday. The CD is "Now is Not Forever" by B.Reith and the song is "Breathe." (I also bought the CD, "Introducing Ayiesha Woods" by..well...just guess.)

I tabbed (figured out the guitar solos by ear) this song earlier tonight and don't want to stop listening to it. It may seem lyrically simple, but is really getting to me... "Come into this broken dream and breathe down on me... breathe down on me."

I'll be 18 in 14 days and while people say that it's cool I'm a sophomore and may congratulate me on my music or something, I am often not convinced. I frequently remind myself of the songs I have yet to complete, the CD I have not released, the flaws I am all too familiar with... I remind myself of what I have not done compared to what other people my age or younger have done or just compared to what I had planned. - this is the perfect time to say come into this broken dream and breathe down on me...breathe down on me.

I find myself comparing myself to the singer-actor kids living their dreams and thinking "I'm nearly 18... when does my dream start?" Not to say (by any means) that I aspire to be famous or become a household name, I could do local media for all I care. I just look at the standards and all I set for my self, look at my age, and recognize their inability to line up.

I think "Breathe" is a request for God to breathe down on a broken dream because of one's unsuccessful attempts. I don't think my unsuccessful attempts are the fact that I have not done certain things by a certain date, but the mere fact that I notice it. My broken dream isn't my music or talent, but my lack of acknowledging the two.

"When I lost it all, that's when my life truly began and I found myself secure in the palm of Your hand - again." --"Breathe" by B.Reith

I don't know what B.Reith was thinking about when he wrote this song and for all I know my interpretation could be one hundred and nine percent irrelevant.

Not sure what I was thinking in reference to the last paragraph there. I guess I just forgot to finish my train of thought? Anyways, that was the way my mind was moving throughout the 12 o'clock hour last night/this morning.

In ACC related news, (buh dum chhh) we're having an open mic night tomorrow as a part of our open house where prospective students can come hang out on campus. I'm hoping to be here and I love meeting my future colleagues! Come say hey, ok? Ok good afternoon friends. :)